Attending American University.
I post the most random shit about my life

I’m sad you’re on the other side of the globe. Can you come home already? Because I miss you so much.

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I fucking hate how you know me so well. Maybe more than I know myself.


He is one of a kind and he was once all mine.

You don’t even look me in the eye anymore. I know you’re afraid that you’ll kiss me.

So why don’t you ever do anything you want? Why must everything be for my sake?

Fuck you.

I wasn’t ready to leave. And I think the fact that I left ruined everything.

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Oops, I think I’m still in love with you.

Everything I did was because I love you.
Up until now.
Everything I do is because I need to love me again.
I’m sorry.

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I would honestly be a lot less messed up if you didn’t tell me those things that night. But then I would never get the closure. But I’m so screwed up in the head… that I’m oddly okay with not getting the closure. Cause this seems endless and I’m just fucking sick of missing you.

I’m fucking sick of going to places where you kissed me and have this sinking feeling in my gut. I’m fucking sick of knowing that there isn’t any part of my body you haven’t touched because it will always be a constant reminder. I’m fucking sick of seeing you in every guy I meet now.

And I’m a fucking hypocrite. I can’t explain how I feel this way and then that way. I’m fucking scared you’ll meet someone you’ll open up to besides me. I’m fucking scared I lost my best friend. I’m fucking scared I’ll never allow anyone that much power over my wellbeing again.

TL;DR Don’t ever ever ever date your best friend.


It’s not about wanting you in my life anymore, it’s about me. You care for me so well and so much that I have forgotten to care for myself. Splitting up does not mean anything. It’s a selfish decision, I know. Unless I work to improve on myself, I don’t think I deserve you.


kissing is great

but wow when you get to kiss someone you have feelings for and you’ve wanted to kiss them for the longest time and you get to stroke their face and you’re so aware of their body and how nice their lips feel

(via kukulov3)

I remember once I asked for a kiss. You said no because there were children around. But you kissed me anyways after you said no.

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I remember one time, before we were together, we were both high out of our minds. I told you the one secret I never even felt comfortable enough to share with BKG. And despite my state, I knew I could trust you with every fiber in my body. And I know you’ve never trusted someone before as much as you trusted me.
You still take care of me when I’m drunk. You still listen to me cry. You still care. You still love me.
How is it possible for everything to just go to shit like this?

Tonight, I miss you again.
I don’t sleep early anymore. I’m scared that I’ll just lay in bed and replay all our memories.
So, it’s easier for me to just pass out than force myself to sleep. It’s less painful.

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